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What the is a Warmduscher
?
Warmduscher (***)
[From German warm - warm+dusche - shower]
Literally warmshower - A person who, while travelling abroad, is
not prepared to endure any degree of hardship, always preferring to use financial means if possible to ensure total comfort,
even to the point of being totally swindled.
Furdl (***)
An internantional, all purpose appellation for any word with which
the speaker chooses to substitute it. "Stop furdling for goodness sake, it's just a little furdl down this way"
*** - at this point should be the phoenetic symbols which
define pronounciation, but I can't work out how to type them in on this keyboard.
by Dan Slater 2001
How to Spot a Warmduscher
The
first thing you will notice about the Warmduscher is his demureness. The Warmduscher is likely to be prim and possibly modest.
The clothes may be in unusually good condition, or you may note that the Warmduscher is just slightly over-preened. Perhaps
the Warmduscher carries a supply of hand-wipes.
The
Warmduscher enjoys a sterile, starchy, germ-free lifestyle. However, this does not stop the Warmduscher from travelling, it
just means that he will view the world from the Warmduscher disinfected bubble. It’s rather traumatising for the Warmduscher
to reach out of this bubble, into the world of potential health hazards. For this reason, never take offence if your offer
of a sip from your can, or a bite from your apple, is rejected. Initial encounters with the Warmduscher may lead you to believe
that the Warmduscher is stingy or does not have much in material possessions, so is unable to share. But you would be mistaken.
The Warmduscher’s unwillingness to share stems from his worry that you will ruin, or at best make dirty, what he treasures
as being unblemished.
You
will also need to know about the social side of the Warmduscher. The Warmduscher also does not really know how to have fun.
This brings us back to the bubble. The Warmduscher sees every situation as a potential risk. I’m not just talking about
extreme sports. I’m talking about all situations. I’m talking about
the ability to let your hair down and spend time just enjoying yourself. The Warmduscher is unable to do this, because the
Warmduscher doesn’t know how to. This is because the Warmduscher can never do what he wants to without first considering
the practicalities.
Take,
for example, an evening getting trashed with your friends. You drink and drink and drink, and laugh and laugh and laugh, and
say exactly what comes out your mouth. The Warmduscher couldn’t ever really do
this… the Warmduscher would be worried about the hangover in the morning, and about what the neighbours are thinking,
or whether or not the bar staff are judging you. The Warmduscher may also be worried that he’ll say something “wrong”
or give away something about himself that others may laugh at.
So,
when you do meet a Warmduscher, you’ll find it very difficult to get to know him – but then, there seems little
reason to try.
by
Sarah Barker 2001
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